The Holiday Traditions You Build
Creating Your Own Family Traditions: Building a Holiday Filled with Love
We don’t all come from picture-perfect upbringings, but one thing I know for sure is that my mom was incredible. She held our family together, especially during the holidays. Watching her strength, I’ve come to understand the power of building something new, something beautiful—and now, as I create my own family traditions for the holidays, I’m filled with that same love and hope.
The holidays can stir up a mix of emotions—nostalgia, joy, maybe even a bit of heartache. For me, Christmas has always been my favourite. I always knew that our holidays would be filled with amazing food, wonderful people, loads of laughter, skating and games. When my dad walked out on our family during my young adulthood, I knew we were better off, but I couldn’t shake the sadness of never seeing a Christmas like my childhood again. Christmas, for me, isn't about holding onto past hurts or old traditions or how one person makes their gravy. It's about creating something magical, something that reflects the hope and love that I want to pass down to my children, just as my mom did for me.
When You Marry, You Become One
When I got married, I felt that the Bible's message about becoming one with your spouse applies to more than just everyday life—it includes holidays too. There’s this pressure, especially around Christmas, to try to appease everyone's traditions, from visiting friends, attending church services, to quirky gift swaps with extended family—it can be a lot to juggle. But the truth is: You and your spouse are building your own family. You have the right to create your own traditions, ones that reflect what you both want for your family, without guilt or pressure to fit into anyone else’s mold. Especially as your family grows, it’s a good idea to sit down and discuss how you both envision your Christmas celebrations. This does not need to be a one time discussion but a relaxed, seasonal planning over a cup of cider for how you feel you wish the holidays to go. It doesn’t have to be perfect or happen the same way every year, but focus on what fills your heart as a child, parent, and spouse.
Planning - Sharing is Caring
To make holiday planning fun and stress-free, here are a few questions my spouse and I love to ask.
1) What did we love about last year?
Movie Marathon Count Down to Christmas, Christmas with Friends where we played a million boardgames, Turkey with Sangria.
2) What could we do without?
The Aunt who tries to force our kids to hug them even after they say they don’t want to.. Rushing from A to B to C on ____ day. Let’s pick one, maybe two things so its a more enjoyable pace.
3) Is there anything you wanted to do but we didn’t get to?
I loved it when we did a family skate night two years ago and would love to do that again.
I loved it when we made jiggs dinner because it reminds me of my Christmas at home.
We could always use more boardgames nights, I miss that.
4) Where are we giving ourselves downtime?
I think we should not plan anything on this Saturday, and this Tuesday just to give us some time to breath in between all of the other events that week.
I recommend discussing these topics before the holidays start. Planning in advance allows both halves of the couple to share their dreams, desires and things that cause frustration or anxiety without it being in the heat of the moment. It is much easier to explain your boundaries and wishes for the future without it becoming a heated discussion.
How to Start Your Own Traditions 🎄
Starting your own family traditions is exciting, but it can also feel a touch daunting. Where do you begin? Here are some ideas to help you reflect and create something that feels special for your family.
1. Reflect on What You Loved as Kids
Reflect on what made the holidays magical for you as a kid. Was it the smell of cookies baking in the oven while watching a holiday classic? The twinkle of lights on the tree? Maybe it was simply the feeling of being together, laughing over board games or unwrapping presents. These moments hold sentimental value, and recreating some of those experiences can help keep that magic alive.
2. Look for Inspiration Around You
Sometimes the best ideas come from observing what others do—whether that’s real life friends or favourite scenes from holiday movies. Taking inspiration from Nailed It - have you always admired the idea of a Christmas Eve cookie-decorating marathon or a gingerbread house competition? Maybe you love the coziness of decorating the Christmas tree together, watching holiday movies with hot cocoa, or gathering with friends to sing Christmas carols. There’s no rulebook—whatever feels right for your family is perfect.
3. Have Grace for Your Aspirations
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of the “perfect” holiday. Maybe you dream of hosting big family dinners or skating under the stars. Trust that, while some traditions might not happen every year, they can still be part of your family's future. We don’t need to be crumbling with anxiety under the pressure of our own expectations. We want to draw inspiration from our past while enjoying the moments this holiday season brings.
One of my favourite Christmas memories as a kid was when my family hosted a bunch of friends for a big dinner, followed by late-night skating in the backyard. We often stay up until 1 a.m. playing card games and telling stories. Our house had a big industrial kitchen overlooking the rink. We had a large solid wood table, which the kids never sat at because we usually had many guests. The sunsets were early, and we often we played in the starlit snow. Our house was always filled with laughter, and those nights were nothing short of magical.
The thing is, there is something bitter sweet about acknowledging the fact that you can never recreate an exact moment in time. Letting that go and embracing the goal of carrying that joy forward is peaceful and nostalgic—every year is a new opportunity to make new beautiful memories.
In Summary
The quote that says, “Once you leave home, you can never go home again” summarized eloquently the journey we all face with our own families. As time passes, we can’t replicate the exact same moments, and that’s the bittersweet essence of life. But we can savour those memories, we can let them inspire us, and put effort into creating new ones for our children. I may not be able to go back to the Christmases of my childhood, but I can make sure my kids have moments they’ll look back on with the same fondness and love.
So as you step into the holiday season, don’t be afraid to make your own traditions. Whether that’s a new recipe, a special movie night, or a spontaneous snowball fight, it’s the memories you’re creating for your family while making all those plans that will matter most. Ultimately, the goal isn't to replicate the past, but to take its warmth and shape it into something fresh and meaningful for your own family to cherish.
